Holding on …keeps me alive

I had written this poem when I lost my mother, 10 years ago. A friend asked me to post it and so I have. Someone told me then, time is the best healer. I had not believed it then . In fact, I hated those who said it, for it felt like they were saying that I would eventually forget and to forget seemed unforgiveable. But they were right…time dims your memory and the pain but not the love that one feels…


A picture of my mother with my sister and my daughter…a priceless treasure



I see you in my mind’s eye,

Your smile, your anger, little glimpses flash by,

As if you were right there,

I know not what went wrong and where…


I close my eyes to see more of you,

Memories of the past, so fresh, so true,

It’s you I look for, among the rest,

Seems like yesterday, you looked your best…


Wish I could re-write the past,

Wish this hadn’t been your last,

Wish you’d know how much I miss you,

Wish I had told you, how much I loved you…


There’s nothing that I can mend,

For this injustice, who do I avenge?

Your absence hurts, stings my eyes and chokes my throat,

As I read over and over the last hand-written note.


To be with you, is all I want,

“Let go,  Move on”, a resounding taunt,

They watch me and call me naïve,

As in this sorrow, a deep chasm, I wish to dive.


Was there a stone unturned?

Was there an option untried?

A million questions, answer none,

The burden of acceptance, weighing a ton.


Alone, I must trudge forward,

Carrying you in my heart, I must not look backward,

Picking up the threads, that you left behind,

Your love, your teachings, will, us together bind.



3 responses to “Holding on …keeps me alive”

  1. Smitha Vishwanath Avatar

    I agree with you completely. I have always felt her presence just like you said- when things click for me I know she’s up there pulling the strings. We miss them but there’s nothing we can do. Thanks for writing. Hugs to you too😊


  2. smomingingham Avatar

    I lost my mother too some years back and the grieving period was difficult. We never stop loving them after they are gone. I believe they never stop loving us too. We just sense it differently— through deja vous, memories, quiet whispers in our heart. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

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