To all those readers and well-wishers who have been following my blog since October, remember the decision that I was procrastinating on, the one that I had to take but wasn’t sure when to take; the one I wrote a post on What’s the Right Decision? Why is it so difficult to decide sometimes?. Well, I’ve taken the decision and executed it!
I QUIT!
1.Why?
Because, quitting was a decision that had to be taken in the better interest of the family. Sometimes in life, you need to take a stand, you need to choose, you need to prioritize. And that means you decide to take a step back so that your significant other can take a step forward. When that step forward means moving countries, you can either decide to stay away from each other, with both people carrying on with their respective jobs, as many couples in the present age do (and there’s nothing wrong with it) or you can decide to stay together and quit. I chose the latter. It’s not coercion. It’s not male domination unlike some feminists groups would have you believe. It’s a decision that I took because it felt right to me.
2.Was it difficult?
Yes it was! Not because I haven’t quit before. I have done it in the past, each time hoping to get away from the career that I had but landing right back. Somehow, it was easier the previous times. The job, the bosses and the work pressure made the decision to leave so much easier. Not this time though.
I’m not sure if it is because my mind sees it as some sort of a sacrifice or because the boss, the team, the job, the recognition I have, have all made it difficult to let go.
However, let go I must to hold on to something else. Maybe I will find that one thing that I have been looking for to do which is definitely not the career that I have been a slave of for the last 2 decades or it will be an experience that I learn from. Anyways, moving out of one’s comfort zone is tough and I know it’s going to be tough.
- Do I regret it?
No I do not! I am absolutely sure I will… if I do not take the plunge and keep living this amazing life that I have lived for the last so many years – a life that is as predictable as night and day. Not that that’s a bad thing though for I’m more than grateful for the past. The time however has come to move on and see what life has in store for us… for me.
Life is too short to do the same repetitive thing over and over again with the fear of trying something new for the fear of failure.
- Next what?
If that’s your question, I do not have an answer. I am going to have to start all over again and create a new identity for myself. As much as I’d like to disbelieve it, my job has been my identity until now. I have basked in its shadow. Does it sound lame? Well, maybe… but it’s the truth…most certainly my truth.
I have never found difficulty in answering the question, “What do you do?”. A one word answer has always been sufficient. Its given me confidence, increased my sense of self-worth and given me a sense of security. I will now need to find a way to answer the question “What do you do?”.
- Am I scared?
I would be lying if I said “No”. Change can be daunting and especially if it means changing your entire life. So, yes I am…a little scared. Of myself, of boredom creeping in, of not knowing what I am going to do next, of a 24 hour long day that I have been used to filling up with multiple activities which would take any normal person 30 hours; I am told. Of moving away from a country that I’ve lived in, my entire life and of moving back to a country that I was born in and I love but a country that I cannot say I know.
- Am I looking forward to it?
Yes I am! Not knowing is equally exciting as it is frightening . Quitting a 8 to 5 job means loads of time in hand to do the things that went on the back-burner all these years.
Will have to open that diary that’s lying under a pile of books in a top shelf . I remember writing, “If only I had more time…”.
- The Bucket List
I have it. Its now time to take it out and start working on it. There’s reading, writing, fitness, baking (thanks to Robbie’s Inspiration) , painting, exploring the country, making a difference in somebody’s life to begin with. There’ll be many more along the way. We’ll just have to wait and see. One thing I am sure of is that there will be immense learning.
- A Sense of Comfort – This Blog
As I embark on a new journey, I am grateful to have you’ll with whom I can share my experiences with. Thanks to this blog and each one of you who take the time to read and comment, no matter where I go, I know I will not be alone. When I started the blog a year and a half ago, I had no idea how this blog would actually end up being my life-line. This blog is one thing I feel confident of as I start the second chapter of my life.
You’ll have sent me your prayers and wishes when I was going through the decision making process. I will need those prayers and wishes now as I start on blank slate, from scratch all over again with an identity that is just me; no baggages attached.
9. Why I am telling you this?
Because I felt I had to.
Through the last year and a half, you’ve been here, I have shared every thought that’s crossed my mind, which I may have never voiced out aloud but have managed to write here.
Also, because my posts maybe a little different henceforth. As I try to find my path among the many that will now be available to me, I might appear confused, scared and unsure, one day, excited, happy and content on another. I wanted to make sure you understood why. I’m not sure what lies ahead but its easier knowing I am not alone. And thanks to each one of you, there’s never such a moment, night or day.
- Let’s inspire each other
Looking forward to reading your own inspiring stories of when you fought your biggest fear, moved out of your comfort zone to try something new. You could also share with me your own bucket list that’s waiting for you to act on. Maybe looking at it or typing it here will give you the impetus to work towards making it happen.
Wishing you courage and strength to make the change, to live your life!
Loads of love,
SmithaV
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