NaPoWriMo 2018: Day 4 – Longing

Today’s challenge, is based on a new craft resource, in the form of an essay by Julie Marie Wade on description in poetry.

The prompt focuses on the use of concrete nouns and specific details, using the idea of “putting a dog in it.” Today, we challenge you to write a poem that is about something abstract – perhaps an ideal like “beauty” or “justice,” but which discusses or describes that abstraction in the form of relentlessly concrete nouns. Adjectives are fine too!  Concrete details like those can draw the reader in and let them imagine the real world where your abstract ideal or feeling happens.

My poem for today is on the feeling of “Longing”. As readers, do let me know if you feel the anguish.

You’ve barely just been gone,
And I know I must stand strong,
Until you walk back in again,
But its driving me insane…
My heart’s a turmoil,
A lone boat moored on soft soil,
Rushing rivers that promise to wash away,
Stormy waters that threaten to fray…
The sound of returning foot-steps, I eagerly await,
A little child looking beyond the gigantic school gate,
I strain to hear them but they grow faint,
Solitude, my companion, I need acquaint…
Heaviness creeps in, its tentacles encircling,
Engulfed in smoke, a fire-man choking,
A leaf holding on to a tree stripped bare,
Family albums starved as Silverfish dare…
Those dark dungeons of longing, I strive to break free,
Vast, blue skies, the birds and the bees ; I look up to see,
This too shall pass like changing seasons and tides in the sea,
I await your return, when again together we shall be…
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24 responses to “NaPoWriMo 2018: Day 4 – Longing”

  1. shalini Avatar

    So beautiful. Lovely words

    Like

  2. thewritewomanblog Avatar

    You describe longing with so much beauty, Smitha. I could always feel the words tugging at my heartstrings.

    Like

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Your comment makes me believe the best poems are the ones that come straight from the heart. Thank you so much. Your words are the perfect response to this poem. XXX

      Liked by 1 person

      1. thewritewomanblog Avatar

        It takes so much commitment to come up with something with a mere prompt and that too when you do it with the passion you possess, Smitha. Hats off to you for that. I have not dared to take up such a challenge, not up until now. It sure keeps your creative well brimming.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Smitha V Avatar

          It definitely takes a toll and by the 10th day I’m saying, I shouldn’t ever take it up again. Then somebody’s comment comes along like a message from God and I carry on… But, its a wonderful learning. The prompts are so creative. Pranitha your comments are encouraging. ❤

          Liked by 1 person

          1. thewritewomanblog Avatar

            Your doing wonderful but I hope you don’t stress about it. Enjoy!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Smitha V Avatar

              Thx Pranitha!

              Like

  3. NaPoWriMo / GloPoWriMo 2018 – Day 4 – “Tonight Belongs To You” by David Ellis | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish) Avatar

    […] Solitude 14. .: Arash’s Poetry :. – Cookie 15. Voiceless Fricative – KNOTS 16. WHAT LIFE SAID TO ME – NaPoWriMo 2018: Day 4 – Longing 17. this and other poems – 4/4 18. Voyagedesmots – Hope 19. MY OWN GARDEN OF VERSE – […]

    Liked by 1 person

  4. radhikasreflection Avatar

    Longing…..so beautifully put to words! Each line laden with emotion. Well done Smitha 👏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thank you very much Radhika. I love the way you weave words so this appreciation means a lot to me.Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Feelings and Freedom Avatar

    Wow! This was so beautiful! All emotions poured in one post. Very moving!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thank you, thank you so much Vandana. Had to get over being obsessed about the exams😉. From a fellow poet, I’m humbled.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Feelings and Freedom Avatar

        Ha ha…You are most welcome. This was quite moving piece 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Smitha V Avatar

          Came from the heart…missing hubby😊.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Feelings and Freedom Avatar

            I could sense it 🤗🤗🤗

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Smitha V Avatar

              😍😘got the hugs

              Liked by 1 person

  6. Sunith Avatar

    Beautiful lines

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thank you so much Sunith.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Kashiana Avatar

    Family albums starved👌

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thanks😊 Kashiana.

      Like

  8. viewsofpreethib Avatar

    Wooow beautiful write Smitha 😊

    Like

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thank you so much Preethi.Xxx.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Sangbad Avatar

    Again a loop of clapping post…you have defined longing wonderfully…

    Like

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      So much appreciation…now I’m spoilt. Thank you Sangbad. Your comments are truly encouraging.

      Like

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