Ever heard that line before? If I had heard it while I had a job, I’d crinkle my nose and roll my eyes. “Seriously, what are you doing that you can’t keep up? You’re not even working!”
O.k. , here’s my story…
In order to keep myself occupied, in the absence of a real job, (so I do not breakdown on account of boredom) and in an effort to do all that I’ve always wanted to do but never had the time to, I joined the gym, which I go to thrice a week and decided to do art twice a week. Doesn’t sound too much, right? I know. But add to that the children, home, entertaining friends and family and an ageing father; my hands are full.
I had no idea when I started painting, that I’d get so addicted to it; I’d end up sitting all day sketching and painting, fixing and re-fixing, and my writing and reading would go on the back-burner. The scary part was, I did not even miss writing. And when I finally noticed, it felt like I was digressing from the chosen path. You know, kind of becoming ‘Jack of all arts and master of none,’ and I shared my fear with the one person who’s always there to listen (or probably has no choice but to listen;)); my husband.
“I used to write so much more, before I moved to this country and that was, with a full-time job. Writing came to me so naturally.”
I am taking a step back here to see the big picture, to find myself in the midst of the chaos: I need to do this to rein in my horses before they gallop away.
There are way too many distractions here.
I count and recount on my fingers, again and again, I cannot believe that it’s only been five and a half months since we moved to India and there have been 5 festivals celebrated, 2 sets of exams for the girls’, 3 parent-teacher’s meetings, dad’s hospital visits which have reduced from a daily basis during the first 3 months to once a month (Thank God!), month-long celebrations and sight-seeing with extended family (again a blessing to have), a 5 km run in between that we took part in and a constant influx of friends ( also a blessing) visiting us here in Mumbai, to see if we’ve settled well, a book launch, and a trip to Delhi to take part in the first Asian Literary Confluence. Add to all this, managing the domestic help here, who have a mind of their own and a heart full of emotions ! It’s all too overwhelming for the introvert.
Nothing ever happens in the U.A.E. (which is what people who’ve lived there, love)
For someone who’s lived their life in the U.A.E, where every day is rather predictable (which may translate to boring, for some) and moves like a well-oiled machinery ; without mincing words, the experience in India has been nothing short of a roller-coaster ride. And while it’s taken me 5 and a half whole months to complete a circle and get my feet back on the ground, I must steer my boat and take charge for fear of going headlong into the current, before this ride takes me up again and in the blink of an eye, my first year here passes by.
As I write, I realize that its taken me so long to see that I had unconsciously replaced my solitary morning walks with evening family walks. Whoever has read my earlier posts, will know how much I love my morning walks, when the world is asleep and the sky is still dark and even the birds have not begun stirring. The few times I have ventured out in the mornings, its after the world’s woken up, the car cleaners have begun their job and the school buses have turned into the gate to pick up the school kids. And those rare occasions had been restricted to walking around the building or in the adjacent garden (which is connected to the building).
That’s just not the same as walking beyond the gates, and experiencing the world outside; is it? 🙂
If you’re wondering what to make of me rambling on and on, I understand. This post was meant…like I said, to gain clarity, to harness my thoughts and to put some order to the chaos. I feel better already, knowing that so much has happened and it’s not even half a year since we’ve been here. But to avoid feeling overwhelmed, I just have to follow the Zen way of
life. Hopefully, things will be easier then
Thanks as always for reading the post and a bigger thanks for sticking to the end of this one :). I really needed to do this.
Just in case, you wanted to see what I have been painting, here it is.
Season’s Greetings to all you out there
Yours’ truly,
The Introvert
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