I’m guilty
of forgetting
of a memory that’s fading
I can’t remember
The sound of your voice
That lulled me to bed
when my heart filled with dread
or urged me to be tough
when the going got rough
Or bolstered me up
When my cup
spilled over
And said, ‘Try my dear, once more.’
I’m guilty
of going against the norm
letting cobwebs form
In the nooks and crannies
Of a chest full of memories
Its’ key misplaced
The lock rusted
Stacked files
forgotten piles
Gathering dust
Under this polished crust
Lying so deep
No longer make me weep
I thought I’d die
When I said, ‘Goodbye’
‘Time heals all,’ they said
Those that saw my eyes red
Hatred spewed from every cell
‘Keep your mouths shut,’ I wished to yell
My loss, unfathomable, I believed
Those that thought, ‘time would heal,’ were deceived
I’m guilty
Of failing
Of my memories dwindling
I’m trying so hard
To keep you alive – its’ made me a bard.
I write this poem in memory of my mother whom I lost 13 years’ and 10 months ago. We were close – so close that I wanted to die when she went away. Having kids or being married didn’t make things any better. Yet now, I do not remember her often. And I feel guilty of moving on. I ask myself, ‘Why?’
And I think maybe it hurt so badly that my mind found a way of dulling the memories. Maybe that’s what ‘Time heals everything,’ means.
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Eúnoia 
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