I need to talk

I need to talk

A hollow feeling

A silence gnawing

An emptiness

A loneliness

I need to talk-

But to who?

 

The lift man perhaps, who wishes me-

On my way out at the break of dawn,

The one who presses ‘G’

Lost in his thoughts, his eyes half closed

Up and down he goes all day

Inside the metal cage

 

Or to the kind, old lady who smiles a soft smile

As I pass her by

Her back to the western wall, she faces the east, her palms joined

She awaits the sun; her husband’s straddled on a wheelchair

He faces the South – watching the flight of birds

Lost in the melody of the morning matin

 

Maybe I should speak to the policeman who’s standing at the curb

Baton tucked under his arm

a bored look on his countenance, waiting for action

Or the other women who walk in droves

Their mouths and legs synchronizing

Their eyes follow me as I cross

 

A disquiet grows within me

I look down at the unending list of numbers

On the phone – so many

I have lost count of

I want to talk

But to who?

 

This one is busy

This here may have forgotten me

This one knows nothing about me

This here is good for the good times

But here’s one,

one that never let’s me down –

 

One that awaits my call

One that’s not displeased or bored, if I have nothing to say

One who thinks I do it for him

But little knows I do it for me

My thumb hovers over

On the green receiver sign

 

I hear the ringing

I hear a ‘Hello’ at the end of the line

Music to my ears

‘Hi pa. How are you?’

” Not too good. These are my last days”

I quarrel for I can’t change the tide

 

I raise my voice

I hang up in a huff

He thinks I’m angry; it’s a bluff

I’m not lonely

How can I ever be

As long as I have this number to call

 

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16 responses to “I need to talk”

  1. athousandbitsofpaper Avatar

    So beautiful Smitha – today must be the day for reading I am coming across so many heart warming pieces. Enjoy your Dad. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thank you 🙂 So glad you liked it. I will. Have a good Sunday!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. robbiesinspiration Avatar

    This post is simply beautiful, Smitha. What a wonderful father and daughter relationship. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thank you so much Robbie for your kind words. Hugs 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Andrea Stephenson Avatar

    There are so many lonely or isolated people in the world – this is a moving poem that touches on how we all live within our own concerns, but then we hopefully have someone just like your Dad who we can turn to.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Yes… we are surrounded by so many people, have so many connections and yet at times, we can feel so alone. My heart goes out to those who have nobody to speak to and I am grateful for dad. And its sad to see him feel so lonely. Thanks Andrea for writing back.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Vineetha Brijesh Avatar

    After reading this poem I was so touched by the way you penned it and more over the pics touched my heart. Didn’t think called up my dad and had a long conversation with him. I was so happy and relaxed after that.Sometimes we take many things for granted and don’t realise it.This opened up my heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Vineetha I feel so good reading your comment. It’s a sense of accomplishment I feel. I’m so glad you enjoyed your conversation with your dad. I’m so sure he felt as happy and relaxed as you did. Hugs to you.

      Like

  5. balroop2013 Avatar

    This is like an old blanket, as warm as ever! True poetry flows like that! Quite Cathartic and reassuring that there is somebody who would hear without a frown, a bonding we all yearn for. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      I like the comparison to an ‘old blanket’🙂 – gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling…kind of like coming home. Yes, dads, moms and grandparents are like that…like your favorite blanket. Thank you so much for your warm appreciation. XXX

      Liked by 1 person

  6. GS Subramanian Avatar

    I like it. The poem indicates an existential angst, a sense of Nausea as Sartre would have put it. You father is the prop you reach out to take you away from this enveloping boredom and one you know who will not fail you. Obviously you are very close to him. Well penned and I sense a need to relate the external happenings to your inner world of things.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Writing the poem did not bring tears to my eyes but reading your comment did…maybe because I shield myself from the truth and the pain. Thank you for understanding and putting in words how I feel so clearly. I hope my dad sees it as you have. Thank you🙏

      Like

  7. Vineetha Brijesh Avatar

    Beautifully penned smi. Loved it.

    Like

  8. Rachel Avatar

    This was so amazing. I love the imagery within this piece, I could see everything that was being described. This was written so beautifully.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thank you Rachel for your kind words. I’m so glad the poem reached you. I love everything you have to say of it.

      Like

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