I miss you so bad

I thought I was done
                         missing you
You had to go            
             everybody has to           someday.
I've been telling myself 
                        and it's been okay


I feel you              closer  
           
             than before
those days you looked at me     
                         as if I were the traffic        
during rush hour 
               or a distant voice          a memory 


I thought I was done     
                                        missing you
But,      I am not 
            Today          I feel like a ship
that's hit a rock                  it's getting heavy
                   I feel myself keel
over                                    Helpless                     
         Frightened               I close my eyes and pray


like you've always told me          I'm going down
                       down
                                 down 
Thud!                           I touch the ground
       There's nowhere to go now           lower 
I feel you      I'm going up                  higher


higher                    I'm gliding
        You're hauling me            I feel the wind on my face
It's buoying me    
                  Up      
                           Up 
                                       Up


I'm soaring         my wings,       look
             Here.          
                    Mamma, can you see me?     

    
 
I wrote this poem for Eugi's prompt, 'Soaring'

A little note on the poem : 
It's been fifteen years since I lost my mother and the truth is I don't think of her very often. But, today I found myself missing her...like really missing her. Not because I was sad, but, 
because I was happy. I miss being able to share my happy news with her, I miss the way 
her eyes danced when something made me happy, and I miss hearing her rooting for me. 

Copyright@smithavishwanathsblog.com. All Rights Reserved.
      
           






         


20 responses to “I miss you so bad”

  1. Andrea Stephenson Avatar

    Grief can come from nowhere and hit us even after a long time, you’ve done a great job of describing how that can feel Smitha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      I didn’t think that was possible because it’s so long ago…your words are comforting. Thank you so much, for writing back and understanding. It was written on an impulse and I thought it was raw, but that’s what I wanted to say. It makes me happy to know that you liked it. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. robbiesinspiration Avatar

    This is very beautiful Smitha, and I’m glad it finished on an uplifting note.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thank you so much, Robbie. I did not start off the poem thinking it was going to end on a happy note but thanks to Eugi’s prompt, ‘Soaring’, I had to, and soon enough, I did feel better. It’s nice that you specifically pointed it out. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Vineetha Brijesh Avatar

    This poem is so beautiful and heartfelt Smitha. Sending you loads of hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thanks so much Vin for being a wonderful friend ❤. Hugs.

      Like

  4. Cheryl, Gulf Coast Poet Avatar

    A beautiful, relatable poem, Smitha! Not being able to share good news is the worst! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thank you so much,Cheryl❤. Yes,it is the worst because nobody’s joy in your happiness quite matches up to a mother’s.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Eugenia Avatar

    Your poem is heartfelt and beautiful, Smitha. I’m so glad you felt you needed to pen this poem and share your emotions with us. Thank you so much for joining in. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thank you so much,Eugene for the prompt,for reading and writing back. I was actually going down, down, down. But, then I saw your prompt, added the soaring bit, and felt lighter after pouring my heart out. So, thank you❤.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Darlene Avatar

    We never stop missing our mothers. I love this poem. Not being able to share happy things with her is the hardest thing of all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thank you very much for your warm words of appreciation and understanding, Darlene. Yes, it’s the happy things that I miss sharing, Unfortunately, nobody else cares as much for the things you care about…as much as your mother.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Goff James Avatar

    Beautifully penned and so poignant.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Thank you, Goff for reading and writing back. I appreciate it very much.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Goff James Avatar

        Pleasure Smitha. Happy Thursday My Friend.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Smitha V Avatar

          Thank you,Goff🙂. Happy Thursday to you too!

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Goff James Avatar

            Cheers. Stay Safe.

            Liked by 1 person

  8. VJ Avatar

    The missing never goes away. No one ever fills a mother’s shoes, do they?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smitha V Avatar

      Yes,the missing never goes, V J…and noone can ever fill a mother’s shoe- so full of love and pride. The absence feels like a vacuum…

      Liked by 1 person

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