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Following my heart, Daring to dream, Living without regrets

Quote 27 : Forgive yourself

I felt the need to write this. It was something I said to a friend who lost her brother. I decided to share it because I realized she probably was not the only one who needed to hear it. Relationships are complicated and they rarely end perfectly, especially with those we are closest to. Because, it’s only to them that we are able to show our true faces- our anger, impatience and our dislike. It doesn’t mean we do not love them. It only means we were closer to them- closer than to those we are only ever nice to.

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20 responses to “Quote 27 : Forgive yourself”

  1. restlessjo Avatar
    restlessjo

    I have a very troubled relationship with my daughter and just this morning I was wondering how to redress the balance. It’s so much easier with my son, and that, of course, is part of the problem. This isn’t really relevant to your post, but in a way it is. I appreciate the thoughts behind it.

    Reply
    1. Smitha V Avatar
      Smitha V

      Hi Jo, It’s great to hear from you again. It’s been a long time. I understand you. It’s probably easier for moms with sons as they are the opposite gender and naturally, the manner of communication, the extent of interference and control, mothers exercise is different. But, when it comes to daughters, they find it easier to fight with us and we see them as extensions of ourselves and tend to express our opinion in everything they do.
      I’m not sure if it helps you but I remember arguing a lot with my mom too, much more than I did with my dad. But, I felt the closest to her. When she passed away, I’d see her in my dreams and end up arguing in them too :). Thank you, Jo, for connecting again and sharing your thoughts on the post. X

      Reply
      1. restlessjo Avatar
        restlessjo

        🤗💖

        Reply
  2. dgkaye Avatar
    dgkaye

    Forgiving ourselves can be the hardest thing. This was a beautiful share Smitha <3

    Reply
    1. Smitha V Avatar
      Smitha V

      So true, Debbie. It’s so easy to go on the guilt trip but it doesn’t get us anywhere. I’m so glad you liked the share. XXX

      Reply
      1. dgkaye Avatar
        dgkaye

        Hugs Smitha xx

        Reply
  3. Cheryl, Gulf Coast Poet Avatar
    Cheryl, Gulf Coast Poet

    Profound post, Smitha! Haven’t most of us experienced something similar? Life is unpredictable and sometimes painful, and most of us have a few regrets! Thank you for posting this…relatable! <3

    Reply
    1. Smitha V Avatar
      Smitha V

      Yes, I have and it took me a long time to forgive myself. Thank you, for saying, ‘most of us have experienced something similar.’ It makes it easier when you know you’re not the only one. Thank you, Cheryl, for your kind words.❤️

      Reply
  4. lynnfay73 Avatar
    lynnfay73

    Yes, even though I did my best, I wish I’d done it better. At times I let my dad get under my skin more than I should have. Wish I’d been more chipper to him at times. Not that I didn’t do really nice things for him. But I wish I’d done things better. Thanks for posting it. Lots of people probably feel this way.

    Reply
    1. Smitha V Avatar
      Smitha V

      Lynn, you did more than your best. I remember having the feelings you describe after my dad passed away and I remember reading your posts and thinking, ‘She’s doing such a great job with her dad. I wish I had done more.’ So, I guess we all feel this way- whatever you do does not seem enough when it comes to people you love. But, we learn to get past it, to heal.
      Thank you for letting me know that it was a good thing I shared these thoughts. Hugs.

      Reply
      1. lynnfay73 Avatar
        lynnfay73

        Yeah, I did my best. At times, he was trying and I yelled back at him and would sort of pull away for a while and I just wish I could have done better. He was a male chauvinist and even though it was generational, I let it get to me too much. He did and said a few hurtful things. Though he was FAR from the worse person to care for. I loved my dad. I know at the end he heard how much I loved him. He could hear me. But I have regrets with my mother, too. I guess everybody does. But I was HERE. My brother wouldn’t have cared for him. I was here for three years and tried to make it the best I could for him. I spent tons of money, did lots of nice things for him. But of course, it seems I could have done better. And I miss him. I loved him more than anyone in the world…

        Reply
        1. Smitha V Avatar
          Smitha V

          Dear Lynn, you sound so much like I did, two years ago. It takes time to heal. It took me a year to stop welling up everytime I thought of my dad. Everything you say about your dad sounds familiar- the generational thing as well as your love for him. I realized too that I loved my dad more than anyone in the world.
          YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU COULD and your dad must be so, so proud of you. He knows!
          XOXO

          Reply
          1. lynnfay73 Avatar
            lynnfay73

            Thanks, Smitha! XO Your words mean a lot.

  5. robbiesinspiration Avatar
    robbiesinspiration

    Very moving words, Smitha. Hugs.

    Reply
    1. Smitha V Avatar
      Smitha V

      Robbie, hugs. Thank you for reading my thoughts and being there for me. It means a lot.

      Reply
      1. robbiesinspiration Avatar
        robbiesinspiration

        Always, Smitha.

        Reply
  6. rajkkhoja Avatar
    rajkkhoja

    Very nice & really true write you quote. Really you share true relationship of friend. Relationship is complicated and they rarely end perfectly. So wonderful write you. I like

    Reply
    1. Smitha V Avatar
      Smitha V

      Thank you very much🙏

      Reply
  7. Mich Avatar
    Mich

    Yes indeed — as the saying goes, ‘Been there done that.’ — forgiving yourself is damn hard.

    Reply
    1. Smitha V Avatar
      Smitha V

      I agree, Mich. But, thank God, most of us eventually get there. And those that don’t, unfortunately, end up depressed and break down.

      Reply

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